Over the summer of 2018, I started seeing a trusted counselor. Yes! I believe in good cognitive behavioral therapy! I don’t go around talking about my problems, anger, or issues with girlfriends. I don’t run to my family for advice or comfort. I pour out my heart to God and I run to a trusted unbiased educated counselor who can see the whole picture, listen to my perspective about life events, and help me understand and process my reactions to life events in a more positive way. Our sessions are all one sided and I do not have any guilt of dumping my junk on her and I don’t feel like I need to listen and fix her problems. She is a cheerleader and coach who gives affirmations as well as challenges me without any shame or guilt.
My counselor didn’t push me to peel back the layers of my anger. She probed the issue by asking me questions and I responded, “Not yet.” She affirmed my answers and waited patiently for when I was ready to talk about what was underneath all of my anger.
I started taking more control of my interactions with people. I deal with them in a healthier manner than before and I place boundaries with them in order to keep myself emotionally healthy. It’s still a process but it has been a game changer for me and my guys. I feel more confident in parenting, life, and in my marriage.
I also started working part time. Never would I have ever imagined teaching a fitness class but I am! I teach Aqua Fit at several locations within a fitness club franchise. While I used to debate whether or not I would go to exercise, now I go because I teach the class! Ha! The job has given me more affirmation, community, joy, as well as a more healthy body and mind, than I could have envisioned. Never underestimate the power of endorphins that comes from exercise, routine, and positive personal interaction!
At the close of my fitness class as we take deep breaths to bring our bodies back to normal rhythms of life. I play the song, “Let It Be”. As I researched the words to this song, I discovered Paul McCarthy wrote it during a troubled time in his life. He had a dream where his deceased mother, Mary, came to him in a dream. She could see that her son Paul was troubled and she said to him, ‘It’s going to be OK. Don’t worry. Let it be.’ He woke up with peace and started writing the lyrics. *
Friends, as I share this journey with you, I want you to know how much God showed up. It wasn’t in a huge event but in the small nudges as I moved slowly forward in the process. God placed people and opportunities in my life and I said yes. He knew my heart, soul, and mind. In His wisdom, He knew exactly what I needed on this journey. And, He knows what you need on your journey. He is with you in the place where you find yourself even though you don’t understand it.
Let Him speak words of wisdom over you to bring you the healing that you
need, want, and crave.
Blessings to you my friends,
The Small Town Girl
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, Let it be, Let it be, Let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.”